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Thread subject: Questions about Canada
Name Date Message
Lori 01/20/10 06:45 pm This was sent to me as an e-mail; I immediately thought of you Marie, Shelly you were next only cuz I know you live in Toronto :)
I didn't realise you were all so civilized ;p. Enjoy!

Now that Vancouver will be hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are
some questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada ? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada ? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England)
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing
is every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada ? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races.
Come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where
can I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? ( Italy )
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Only at Thanksgiving.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

Kelly 01/20/10 06:55 pm LOL ... that is funny but not surprising.

Oh and here's that moose: (A); (B) ... photos - not mine - taken near Elliot Lake, Ontario.

Thanks, Lori :)))
Tiger 01/20/10 07:30 pm If those are the mooses what are the cats like?
Lori 01/20/10 08:20 pm those are huge!!! In all my travels, I've yet to see a moose in the wild :( Well, I've still got time!
Kelly 01/20/10 08:38 pm Saber-toothed, Tiger :)))
Shelley 01/20/10 10:20 pm I have seen these before. Still makes me laugh.

How come there are no questions about our igloos and tepees? ;-)

(Kelly, Marie, does this not remind you of the great Rick Mercer's *Talking to Americans* of several years ago? ;-)
Kelly 01/21/10 06:46 am LOLOL Shelley :)))
Pam 01/21/10 06:47 am My laugh for the day:-))) Thanks Lori
martyc35 01/21/10 11:09 am Thanks, Lori. That's hilarious.
DaisyG 01/21/10 11:30 am LOL thanks Lori, those are great :))
Marie 01/21/10 12:08 pm Lol ...I had never seen those questions before. ........amazing how some of the world views Canada.
We are totally civilized in case anyone wonders, and we have plenty of sunshine but not so much in winter on the west coast. Just plenty of rain. Those Prairie Provinces seem to hog the sunshine, this time of year, but they also get all that ice and snow during the winter too. Just incase you were wondering. Yes, we look the same, speak the same and dress the same as anyone else depending on weather . We are a country of all nations, just like the USA...
Yes Shelley, it was surprising that there were no questions about igloos and tepees.

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Last modified: Sun March 7, 2010